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Speed dating - check · 17 May 06
I have never planned to experience speed dating, indeed have had quite strong feelings about it not being the sort of thing I remotely want to experience. However, it was part of the relay for life event at the weekend, and my friend was organising it, so none of our team had any choice. Except that only our team was put in this situation, so it was pretty much only our team that took part in the speed dating. There were two other guys that came along, but one of them I knew, and the other one was a really quite scarily inarticulate, but terribly sincere 21 year old.
So we sat around for about half an hour debating whether we were actually going to go through with it (with the 21 year old looking quite horrifyingly eager – apparently he turned up half an hour early to demand his badge, and sit and wait), and eventually decided that we might as well. We didn’t, after all, know each other very well (some had only met that day), and few of us had ever spent any time alone together.
My first ‘date’ was with my friend Dan, with whom I have spent quite a lot of time, hours even, alone. So strangely enough this one was the most awkward, as we tried to figure out what we didn’t know about each other but wanted to know for 6 minutes. We ended up talking about who in the club we had dated, since neither of us had publically dated anyone.
The next date was with this guy who is a therapist, and surprisingly reminiscent of a therapist I had been seeing – goatee, demeanour, his way of looking at one, pretty much everything. So I ended up cross examining him on what exactly were the qualifications and experience necessary to become a therapist. Then moved onto what constituted good therapeutic technique and what didn’t.
Then it was the turn of the terribly enthusiastic 21 year old. He had obviously been giving the whole thing lots of thought, and had a series of questions lined up. Trying to be polite, I guess, he told me that I could start with the questions, so I desperately racked my brain for whether there was anything I might possibly want to know about him. This proved to be a fairly painful 6 minutes, though after the beginning I could just ask his questions back to him. It was quite disconcerting as he appeared to be writing notes after everything I said. Not to mention patently making up very poor fabrications of the kind of thing that he probably thought I wanted to hear.
The dates with Steve and Dave – one a new club member but whom I’d met before, and the other the ex-club member who I kind of knew – were pretty ordinary. Steve and I chatted about travelling, because he has just moved back to C’ville after living and working in China for 4 years. It was nice – and rare – to be able to talk about that kind of thing with an american. He himself admitted what a different perspective it had given him, as he had never left the US or even considered travelling before his company posted him abroad. Now he is home and really doesn’t know what to do with himself, but is finding the reimmersion into American life and mindset almost as much of a culture shock as arriving in China. I think that is something that should be compulsory for all americans – a broadened perspective that would be good for the world. Dave and I just chatted about skiing, since that is something we had done together, and he tried to persuade me to start leading hikes so that he would rejoin the club.
The final date was with a guy who my friend Anna has previously commented that, if she weren’t engaged, she’d be all about him. He’s intelligent, attractive, charming but genuine, well travelled, his background is fascinating (he spent 7 years in one of Mother Theresa’s orphanages), his manners are as polished as the quintessential English gentleman. As I described our conversation to Anna and Erin, they were both in ecstasies over this most perfect of guys. They were both shocked to hear that I have no intention of going on a second date with him, that I’m not attracted to him. How can I not be, after all?
So now I can say I have done speed dating, and certainly won’t feel any impetus to do it again. Now when people say ‘why don’t you try this?’, I can just say ‘oh, I’ve done it, don’t feel the need to do it again’. Always good to be able to cut short the ever so well meaning, ‘oh you poor single thing (and don’t come one step nearer my boyfriend/husband)’ couples around me.
— Dan May 18, 07:48 #
What kind of ‘club’ is it anyway?
— Cas May 21, 15:02 #
I’m surprised to hear of you trying speed dating as I though a well traveled and obviously intelligent person such as yourself would have no trouble meeting people. Especially given that you have the scottish burr going for you, they should be throwing themselves at your feet. :)
— Jaqian May 22, 07:47 #
laughs I thought the idea was to talk to people you DIDN’T know!
It’s a growing thing over here too though, and I reckon there’s a rom-com in it. Wanna write a screenplay and get rich?
— AJS May 31, 19:26 #