She hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then she realised there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
- adapted from Douglas Adams



Gone but not forgotten
(or catharsis from the past)


and back into history...

Blogs that take my mind to better places

Adrift at Sea
Aeolian dissonance
A Rain of Frogs
Meanwhile across town
Lette's blog
The Pomo circus is in town
This is nothing, you should hear me play piano

Places that it is my pleasure to take you

Mellaflusia
Tiger's bites - a recipe site
Alberg 29's - sailing!



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Guilt · 13 December 05

Responsibility for our actions? I’ve lost track of what this means.

People often tell me that I have an over-developed sense of guilt. Interestingly, all the people who have told me this are male. I’m not entirely sure that it goes all that much further than the average guilt that females feel. Although then again, one of those deeply meaningful and I’m sure thoroughly researched internet polls has told me that I do have some staggering level of empathy for my fellow human beings, so perhaps that explains it.

Up until recently, I have always described it as my Catholic guilt, an ironic nod to the complete lack of religion or spirituality in my life. However, as has recently been impressed upon me, that would imply guilt regarding circumstances moral. Something for which I have recently been showing an absence of guilt that has even mildly shocked me. I have been guilty of a disregard for the lives of others, justified by a self-serving shifting of responsibility.

Just a little souvenir of a most confusing year.

I don’t know myself anymore. I cannot tell if this is because I never knew myself, I only knew the shadow I presented to myself; or whether this is because I have changed so much in the last year that I have lost track of who I am.


  1. To thine own self, be true.

    Spend enough time contemplating this statement to understand its implications.
    Triton    Dec 14, 09:18    #
  2. You are a lovely girl. You should stop listenning ppl who envy you…
    And stop waiting, he will not fall there!!!! (you know what I’m talking about) ;-)

    BB.
    Bruno Bastos    Dec 14, 12:58    #
  3. Happiness and joy for their own sake.

    Merry Christmas from a fellow catholic in recovery!
    WepWaWep    Dec 24, 13:30    #
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