- adapted from Douglas Adams
Gone but not forgotten
(or catharsis from the past)
and back into history...
Blogs that take my mind to better places
Adrift at SeaAeolian dissonance
A Rain of Frogs
Meanwhile across town
Lette's blog
The Pomo circus is in town
This is nothing, you should hear me play piano
Places that it is my pleasure to take you
MellaflusiaTiger's bites - a recipe site
Alberg 29's - sailing!
I didn't ask for your respect, just leave me my ideas · 28 June 05
I may not be the most proactive of people, but I get things done. I am perfectly capable of organising an activity, an event, or indeed my own life. Recently my mother has started giving me some really sincere compliments. Not that she is not a sincere person, but she is not the most prone to giving compliments. But now she looks at me, and tells me that she does not worry about me at all anymore. This is because, she tells me, I seem to have developed a really good ability to look after myself, without needing anything from anyone. She says it in a half bemused way, making it clear that she doesn’t know where it comes from, but is impressed it is there.
I had two very contrasting experiences regarding my future today. I have a plan, which is slowly evolving. I have not been pushing it very actively, but have been moving towards it. In my own way. When and if it matures, I will follow it through. I am not going to force it, or try to drive it faster than it is currently evolving. I have no need to hurry, and no wish to take a false step.
This morning I had a long meeting with someone who has a vested interest in me following my plan through. But he was nothing but supportive. We discussed what I wanted to do, what my terms were, what I had already thought out, what I needed to sort out. He gave me very helpful suggestions and helped me make some serious decisions.
But this afternoon has been such a contrast. I am reminded of why good intentions are not enough, and can be very invasive. A recent acquaintance has latched onto my plan – or rather, the brief glimpse that they paid attention to – and run with it. They have their idea of where it should go, what my aims should be, the best way to follow through. But this is even more than an imposition of ideas. They are trying to drive it, pull in the threads, force me to go in ways they think is best. I am sure their intentions are good, and don’t even want to let my mind search for the motives they could have. But I wish they would stop and look at me for what I am, not try and make me in their image.
I have not known them long enough to gain their respect, but equally they have not known me long enough to be so sure of their own way.
Is it a work plan? A life plan? Are both the people work colleagues? Or more senior managers? Are they actually qualified to be moulding someone else’s life/career?
I have an issue, which I’m still in the process of destroying, whereby if someone is older than I am, I automatically assume they’re cleverer and know better than me. Tis not true. Experience can be a wonderful teacher, but stupidity can still be a constant companion.
Ultimately it’s you who has to live with the consequences of your choices, and therefore only you should be making them. But don’t get pulled between these two people. Rat them out to each other and let them fight it out. The one you listen to isn’t the one left standing, but the one who backs off and says ‘look, here’s what I think, but you go with what you think is best’. Very King Solomon, hmmm :)
So, do that then. Go on, do as you’re told, I’m older than you :p
— AJS Jun 28, 21:04 #