- adapted from Douglas Adams
Gone but not forgotten
(or catharsis from the past)
and back into history...
Blogs that take my mind to better places
Adrift at SeaAeolian dissonance
A Rain of Frogs
Meanwhile across town
Lette's blog
The Pomo circus is in town
This is nothing, you should hear me play piano
Places that it is my pleasure to take you
MellaflusiaTiger's bites - a recipe site
Alberg 29's - sailing!
The things that are there · 20 June 05
How do people do it? They put obligations on you, they catch you. Whenever I stop and contemplate walking away from it all, there is always a list of things that stops me. This time, the professional suicide it would be committing at work, with such a stack of work on my desk. More long term, the obligation I have made to my friend and now landlady, who is expecting me to stay here until march. One could debate for hours on how real these things are, whether they are artificial barriers I create because I lack the courage to make my own way.
But then do I really want to leave it all for that long term anyway? I just want to have no sense of obligation, no pressures from anyone I know. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t care what happens to other people. Who isn’t borne down by how the things they do affect those around them. Here I am in a whole other country, a whole new continent, and already I am caught. It isn’t that I don’t want to know people and talk to them. I just want to not care.
Trying to find meaning where there is none to be found Today I shot a gun
That way lies madness, el tigra. Madness.
— Adrian Jun 21, 09:17 #
People who spend their time worrying about everyone else and making sure everyone else is OK are lovely and great and wonderful, and if this were a film some Prince Charming would secretly be watching your good works and putting you on a pedestal above all the other selfish rabble. He would soon show himself, and you would go off to live in a big chocolate castle by a river. With pixies and unicorns. Stop me when I’ve done the sarcasm thing enough :-)
I’m not saying you have to be some kind of Dynasty uber-bitch, but it’s a question of balance. Maybe you process yourself a little more through other people’s eyes rather than through you own – in a room full of people you look inwards at yourself how you think they see you, rather than looking out at them.
But when it comes down to it, ask yourself 2 questions:
1) Can you see the person you’re desperately trying not to disappoint being as worried and considerate as you it roles were reversed? I’m not saying that’s an excuse, I’m just saying who the hell made you responsible to a higher code of ethics which is obviously making you really unhappy?
2) And if you do annoy or upset someone, what’s the absolute worst that could come out of it?? We accidentally stumbled onto a jokey expression in my sessions – ‘Unless it’s the ACTUAL end of the world, it’s not the end of the world’. How many people have you forgiven for various transgressions, trespasses (always loved that expression) or whatever? Why should it be any different if you unfortunately upset someone else?? Once again you’re holding youself to some higher accountability.
I’m not saying go out of your way to hurt people or be selfish, like they say in Wicca ‘if it harms none, do what thou will’ and all that. But life is short, and you’re far too wise and funny and nice to spend it as a pinball bouncing around from day to day on other people’s machines.
So, DON’T be a pinball, be a…er, flipper thingy, y’know, with the buttons and stuff.
Note to self – always think analogies through before committing to them
:p
Hate to see you so sad though hon :(
— AJS Jun 21, 14:35 #