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I can't juggle all these balls · 22 May 05
Well, this has been an interesting week. Or maybe weird is nearer the mark. Complete head fuck would perhaps be a bit too strong. Perhaps…
I have been thinking over why this is. A few things have happened that I can put my finger on, some of which I can talk about, others of which I definitely can’t! However, I have come to the conclusion that it actually boils down to one main thing – excess testosterone. I have worked out that from Friday evening of last week to Friday evening this week, I did not spend more than 5 minutes in the company of any other female. I cannot think of any other time that this has happened. Not just that, but there have been many very intense interactions with men. On a level that I realised I have been doing my best to avoid for a long long time.
The week started off with my journey to Chicago last Saturday. This was in the company of my best friend at work, whom I care about very much and I know cares about me. However, he is probably the most misogynistic person I know. Although it is a close run thing between him and my only other friend at work!
So pretty early into our journey we managed to have a conversation about the fact that he considered himself to be far more intellectual than me. He did clarify that he considered himself to be more intellectual than the vast majority of humanity, and when pushed (yes I push) that this included the entirety of womankind. Now in fact I wasn’t too surprised by this statement, but it did somewhat set the tone for our time together for the rest of that week. This was not helped by the arrival soon after of misogynist colleague number two. His particular brand of misogynism is to make it impossible for you to pay for anything (yes, I do try!) and to never disagree with anything you say, whilst guiding you across every street and never actually giving any account to anything you say until it is corroborated by another male. Most of the time I cope with both of them very well, but having this as virtually your only company for five days (with the occasional exception of other work colleagues, all of whom seemed to be male) would try the patience of a saint (which I am not, shocking though you may find this admission).
Added to this there has been the comic relief (which is in fact not remotely comical) of the very intense IM conversations I have been having with two not remotely misogynistic, but very searching male friends of mine. Both of them have helped me a lot with understanding and coming to terms with certain aspects of myself. However, they have certainly added to the overwhelming nature of the week.
Who would have thought that a lack of female contact could have such an unbalancing effect on a mind. I wonder if it is chemical?
But fear not, today has done much to restore the balance. There is nothing quite like a challenging few hours indulging in adrenaline sports to clear the mind and body. Admittedly it didn’t start off promising, as the group turned out to consist of myself and four guys. However, I was able to clear all of them from my mind (even the very cute one) and indulge in the moment, as yet again I flipped and rolled in that damn tricky bit of surf…